


It's Cold On The Other Side Of You

by Just_East



Series: Stucky Drabbles [3]
Category: Captain America (Movies), Captain America - All Media Types
Genre: Drabble, Hurt!Steve, Kinda, M/M, mostly hinted at
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-09-27
Updated: 2014-09-27
Packaged: 2018-02-18 22:51:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 400
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2364932
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Just_East/pseuds/Just_East
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sometimes Bucky looked at Steve and saw a stranger.</p><p>Most times Bucky looked at Steve and wondered when he'd failed him.</p>
            </blockquote>





	It's Cold On The Other Side Of You

Sometimes Bucky looked at Steve and saw a stranger.

Sometimes he wondered where or when along the way he lost sight of that punk he used to know.

The sickly kid from Brooklyn he vowed to follow, both as a Howling Commando, grinning at everything Steve had always wanted to be, and as a desperate eight year old, who prayed at Steve’s deathbed for years it felt like.

Sometimes Bucky wondered if this wasn’t like what Steve had to go through every day with Bucky being the Winter Soldier. Only Bucky knew that Steve was still better than him.

Bucky knew there weren’t times when Steve looked at him and just saw the Soldier. But there were times when Bucky looked and didn’t see a trace of Steve Rogers, his partner till the end of the line. He only saw Captain America.

Strong, efficient, polite, calm, levelheaded, confident, almost cold. All these things that Steve had never been.

Surely, the kid had to have been strong to live through all his illnesses back in the 30s? Bucky thought it was less strength and more pure stubbornness at the time. Steve being wholly unready to die and fuck if hacking out his lung was gonna sway him.

Surely, he’d been polite? Maybe to dames, but Bucky had never seen him put up with an asshole’s shit just cause it was “polite”.

The point was, sometimes Bucky wondered if this was the new Steve, just that time had changed him.

But sometimes Bucky saw cracks. An off smile here, a tightness around his eyes there, the ragged breaths and stuttered sobs resulting from a nightmare.

Bucky wondered when he’d failed Steve.

He wondered if it was waking up alone in a new century, or finding out that “good” and “bad” weren’t actually exclusive, or maybe it was finding out his best guy had been turned into a weapon.

Bucky wondered if Steve would ever let him see his cracks and faults again. If the punk would realize everyone but Captain fucking America had faults and that Bucky didn’t want Captain fucking America.

Bucky wanted Steve Rogers. The perfectly flawed and horribly troublesome stubborn as all hell kid.

Bucky wanted Steve, with his temper and his stumbling over words and did you know, his hands weren’t always steady? Sometimes he’d get the shakes.

Bucky wondered if Steve would ever let him back in.


End file.
